What if...

Each day that passes, I feel Jr. more strongly. I haven't felt him jab me in the ribs yet. I have felt him shift and sit on my bladder though and suddenly I don't know if I am going to make it to the restroom on time! If I have my hand on my belly when he moves I can see him push my hand out. It is so cool, yet so weird and alien to me. Every day it becomes more and more real; Jesse and I are going to be parents! UGH! I feel old.

If you know me, you know that I like to plan and I am a worrier. (Thanks Nana for the worrying gene!) During the week I feel ok. I go to work. I teach the best I can. I go home. Think about how to solve work problems or just veg in front of the TV, too tired to think of anything. Then Saturday comes. There is so much to do before Jr. comes to get ready for him and projects I want to get done, knowing I won't have much time after he comes. So on Saturdays we do what we can to get ready for Jr. like buy paint for the nursery. (no VOC! yea!) I also do a lot of sating my appetite for things like crepes, that I don't have time for during the week. But worst of all...I have time to think. I hate it when I have time to think.
What if I am put on bed-rest before school is out?
What if we are not ready?
What if something goes wrong during delivery day?
What if my RLS symptoms don't go back to a tolerable level after Jr comes?
Which I wonder if this is the cause of my anxiousness today, RLS? My legs feel crawly and I feel anxious beyond my normal worrying. I wonder what the neurologist will say about that when I see him in a couple weeks to be officially diagnosed. Probably that I am a nut case, and I need to see a different kind of head doctor! : )

Anyhow, I know I need to quit worrying and listen to my own advise. My students at the beginning of the year, usually try to get me off topic by asking "What if" questions.
Now they were not questions like, "What if I arranged the sentence thusly?" (Creative, exploring What ifs are things to celebrate in my room!)

No, they were questions like, "What if there was a fire and our homework burned up? Would we still get a 0?" "What if we leave the last 3 lines of the page blank? Is that enough?" (Testing limits) If I let them, they would ask them till the cows come home! So a few years ago, I made a rule, "No what if questions." The kids know it so well that I don't even have to say the rule anymore. Because I teach ESL, sometimes I have some of the same kids 2 years in a row. So the ones that had me the previous year will tell the student that asked the what if question. "NO WHAT IF QUESTIONS! She doesn't like them." They try to rephrase the question without the words what if but I just say that it is a what if question in disguise. It sounds very un-teacher-ish of me to limit a question, but those types of what if questions don't serve much purpose. So...I need to take my own advise..."NO WHAT IF QUESTIONS!"

To bad it is easier said than done.